it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
