Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
