sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
being pregnant is like rehab
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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