either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
