i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
