It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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