i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
