did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
