Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
