then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
