it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
