I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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