I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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