And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
