Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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