people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize