What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
