The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
