i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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