I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
