i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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