nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
