yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I puked a lego.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
