Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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