Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
