real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
