Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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