so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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