they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
