just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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