so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
