I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
