And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
