When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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