Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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