Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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