Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
