i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize