So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
