you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
