If i come over, it means nothing
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
