The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
