Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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