But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
