so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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