Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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