dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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