I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
