sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Oh god it's open bar.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
