I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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