sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
