using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
