AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
