he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
