so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
