yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize