Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize