if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize