I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
