Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize