I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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