i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
