dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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