just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
