God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
