Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
