so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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